Nicolson: Approaching the End

The older he gets, and the clearer it is that he really hasn't accomplished his major goals, the funnier he is. Maybe this is the secret of a great diarist: a strong sense of personal failure, a certain amount of malice and spite directed at people who were (perhaps undeservedly) more successful; and of course, real intelligence, and interest in a lot of things including conversation.

July 16, 1953:

At the Beefsteak there is an American called Colonel Matthews. I beg him that when he returns to New York he will not encourage the idea that England is deluged under a flood of anti-American hatred. It isn't that. It is that we are frightened that the destinies of the world should be in the hands of a giant with the limbs of an undergraduate, the emotions of a spinster and brain of a pea-hen.

Hmmm... That doesn't sound very good. How about September 28, commenting on the U.S. pushing Britain out of a Greek naval base, and in general "ousting" the Brits "out of all world authority."

I mind this as I feel it is humiliating and insidious. But I also mind it since it gives grounds for anti-American feeling, which is I am sure a dangerous and quite useless state of mind. They are decent folk in every way, but they tread on traditions in a way that hurts.

June 21, 1953: [blockquote][son] Ben today made a strange remark while we were discussing what an effect a private school had on little boys, and how they separated their home from their school life. "It is an effect," says Ben, "which lasts all one's life. To this day I have a horror of rendering myself conspicuous or of seeming different from other people." Considering that his hair is like that of a gollywog and his clothes noticeable the other end of Trafalgar Square, this is an odd assertion. Yet it was made in absolute sincerity, and with that naivete which is part of his compelling charm.[/blockquote]

Part of what is going on here, I think, is that the older generation takes the superiority of what we call private schools for granted; the younger generation, perhaps, does not.

He writes to his future daughter -in-law, April 1953:

Viti says that she asked you to call her "Vita," and you must call me "Harold". That is far simpler. I always called my own beloved father-in-law "Lionel", and it seemed quite natural after the first ten years or so.

A strange conversation with a French journalist, February 1950:

He asked me where I was off to. I said I was going down to Windsor to study the archives. He asked whether he might enquire what was the subject of my new book. "Une biographie," I answered, "de George V." He expressed surprise that there should be any documents at Windsor about any such person. Rather puzzled, I replied that there was a whole room full of papers. "Quelle �trange personne," he said, "avec cette passion presque nymphomane pour les hommes." I was much startled by this and then found he thought I had said George Sand.

April 28, 1947:

Now I when young I was as happy and irresponsible as a lark. It is in my late age that happiness has become clouded. But if unhappiness comes to the young it gives them depth; coming at my age it confirms my superficiality.

Tue Mar 22, 2005 6:17 pm MST by robertll | Email Article |

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Nicolson: Approaching the End