Arnold and the Animals 

Arnold and the Animals

As a cost-saving measure, Governor Schwarzenegger had proposed allowing animal shelters to euthanize animals after 72 hours, instead of holding them for at least six days. He has backed down in the face of criticism, and is leaving existing rules in place.

Obvious headline joke: out of the doghouse. One critic: "U.S. Rep. Tom Lantos, a Democrat, said the proposal recalled Schwarzenegger's movie roles as the Terminator. Schwarzenegger should 'not try to play it in real life at every animal shelter in the state of California,' said Lantos, co-chairman of the Congressional Friends of Animals."

Surely there are other possibilities to be explored here. Citizens could:

1. Bring their own Hummers (preferably modified by Arnold's company) to a special event.

2. A stretch of state highway will be closed to regular traffic.

3. Drivers will be able to shoot at many kind of animals, which will have been freed for the occasion.

4. The clincher: excessive drinking will be permitted. Who would be the most scared: the drivers or the rabbits?

At least a few Hummer-driving, gun-loving drunk drivers will remove themselves from the gene pool. Perhaps a policy decision could be made as to whether the Hippocratic Oath requires physicians to treat the survivors. Don't tell me we have to perform a special triage, and only leave the lawyers to die; that sounds like the kind of red tape Arnold was elected to eliminate.

UPDATE: I should have mentioned that of course the fun-lovers would probably be willing to pay for this privilege: there are revenue opportunities for a cash-strapped government here!